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diRk's Journal
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| Wednesday, March 9th, 2005 |
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right, as the title implies im screwed, im giong to fail my 1B class... which is great, cause atleast its still P/NP, now this week is boring beacuse im not doing much, other than that not much of anything eventful seems to be in the works since final week is fastly approaching and now something i think is awesome... beck a.k.a. mongolian chop squad -husking bee -beat crusader-meister -sowelu look into it... ______________________ monday found me on my knees again breathing You in to blur the lines that mark where I begin and where You end no use in trying to pretend come take me again 'cause rumor has it I'm not who I've been come define me what can we do if the rumors are true? I turn everything over I turn myself in I turn everything over I turn myself in there's nothing left for me to defend I turn everything over I turn myself in, yeah the evidence convicts the hollow men after looking inside to my dismay I find I'm just one of them 'cause I'm an already but not yet resurrected fallen man come break this limbo and I know You know just who I've been come define me rumor has it You love me rumor has it the world spins upside down rumor has my only hope is You and the rumors are true I turn everything over swtichfoot - i turn everything over |
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right, as the title implies im screwed, im giong to fail my 1B class... which is great, cause atleast its still P/NP, now this week is boring beacuse im not doing much, other than that not much of anything eventfull seems to be in the works since final week is fastly approaching and now something i think is awesome... beck a.k.a. mongolian chop squad -husking bee -beat crusader-meister -sowelu look into it... ______________________ monday found me on my knees again breathing You in to blur the lines that mark where I begin and where You end no use in trying to pretend come take me again 'cause rumor has it I'm not who I've been come define me what can we do if the rumors are true? I turn everything over I turn myself in I turn everything over I turn myself in there's nothing left for me to defend I turn everything over I turn myself in, yeah the evidence convicts the hollow men after looking inside to my dismay I find I'm just one of them 'cause I'm an already but not yet resurrected fallen man come break this limbo and I know You know just who I've been come define me rumor has it You love me rumor has it the world spins upside down rumor has my only hope is You and the rumors are true I turn everything over |
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| Tuesday, March 8th, 2005 |
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right, so this weekend started with MLB2k5, david got me hooked, and i've been playing that all friday night, all saturday night and all the way into sunday morning where i slept around 9. Woke up round 3:40ish to go to Jenna's birthday bash which went from speed scrabble, dinners to chevy's and then some salsa dancing at HOT MONKEY LOOOVE cafe... it was a fun night met some cool people... now its 10th week and i should be studing... but... MLB2k5 calls... ____________ Hello I've waited here for you Everlong Tonight I throw myself into And out of the red, out of her head she sang Come down And waste away with me Down with me Slow how You wanted it to be I'm over my head, out of her head she sang And I wonder When I sing along with you If everything could ever feel this real forever If anything could ever be this good again The only thing I'll ever ask of you You've got to promise not to stop when I say when She sang Breathe out So I could breathe you in Hold you in And now I know you've always been Out of your head, out of my head I sang And I wonder When I sing along with you If everything could ever feel this real forever If anything could ever be this good again The only thing I'll ever ask of you You've got to promise not to stop when I say when She sang And I wonder If everything could ever feel this real forever If anything could ever be this good again The only thing I'll ever ask of you You've got to promise not to stop when I say when She sang Foo Fighters - Everlong mmmmmmmmmmmmmm music for my soul |
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| Thursday, February 24th, 2005 |
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right, so here i am, just sitting here. coming to realize how much time i have to waste when i don't give intrest in anything but nothing. honestly i'm just avoiding my papers and my studies. it isnt the brightest thing to do but nothing gives me the drive to be productive right now. so at some point i decided that loading all my music on my player would be a great idea to relieve some tension and to some noise fill the space between my ears. right, so sometimes im wrong. this not only make me realize how much junk i have taking up my precious hard-space. and when i say junk, you have no idea. listening to some songs i no longer touch makes me wonder why they're there. for instance -Hellsing Ost -beat boy beats (from eric b & rakim - i aint no joke to crooklyn clan - get your hands up) -dance and rave tracks (from DDR to Happy Hardcore) -kpop/jpop (from SES to BoA, Ayumi to DAI, Shiina Ringo to Chemistry) -Stand up (from Stephen Lynch to Mitch Hedberg, Dane Cook to George Carlin) that alone takes up more space than anyone would think... something got thinking - how would it feel to know that no matter how hard you tried, you could only come to be in second place right, i killed enough time now i suppose. back to work btw im sick... bah ____________________ when we laugh indoors, the blissful tones bouce off the walls and fall to the ground peel the hardwood back to let them loose from decades trapped and listen so still this city is my home, construction noise all day long and gutter punks are bumming change so i breed thicker skin and let my lustrous coat fill in and i'll never admit that i loved you guenivere i loved you i've always fallen fast with too much trust in the promise that "no one's ever been here, so you can quell those wet fears" i want purity, i must have it here right now but don't you get me started now december's chill comes late, the days get darker and we wait for this direness to pass there are piles on the floor of artifacts from dresser drawers, and i'll help you pack i loved you guenivere i loved you death cab for cutie - we laugh indoors |
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right, so here i am, just sitting here. coming to realize how much time i have to waste when i don't give intrest in anything but nothing. honestly i'm just avoiding my papers and my studies. it isnt the brightest thing to do but nothing gives me the drive to be productive right now. so at some point i decided that loading all my music on my player would be a great idea to relieve some tension and to some noise fill the space between my ears. right, so sometimes im wrong. this not only make me realize how much junk i have taking up my precious hard-space. and when i say junk, you have no idea. listening to some songs i no longer touch makes me wonder why they're there. for instance -Hellsing Ost -beat boy beats (from eric b & rakim - i aint no joke to crooklyn clan - get your hands up) -dance and rave tracks (from DDR to Happy Hardcore) -kpop/jpop (from SES to BoA, Ayumi to DAI, Shiina Ringo to Chemistry) -Stand up (from Stephen Lynch to Mitch Hedberg, Dane Cook to George Carlin) that alone takes up more space than anyone would think... some things got thinking - how would it feel to know that no matter how hard you tried, you could only come to be in second place right, i killed enough time now i suppose. back to work btw im sick... bah ____________________ when we laugh indoors, the blissful tones bouce off the walls and fall to the ground peel the hardwood back to let them loose from decades trapped and listen so still this city is my home, construction noise all day long and gutter punks are bumming change so i breed thicker skin and let my lustrous coat fill in and i'll never admit that i loved you guenivere i loved you i've always fallen fast with too much trust in the promise that "no one's ever been here, so you can quell those wet fears" i want purity, i must have it here right now but don't you get me started now december's chill comes late, the days get darker and we wait for this direness to pass there are piles on the floor of artifacts from dresser drawers, and i'll help you pack i loved you guenivere i loved you death cab for cutie - we laugh indoors |
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right, so here i am, just sitting here. coming to realize how much time i have to waste when i don't give intrest in anything but nothing. honestly i'm just avoiding my papers and my studies. it isnt the brightest thing to do but nothing gives me the drive to be productive right now. so at some point i decided that loading all my music on my player would be a great idea to relieve some tension and to some noise fill the space between my ears. right, so sometimes im wrong. this not only make me realize how much junk i have taking up my precious hard-space. and when i say junk, you have no idea. listening to some songs i no longer touch makes me wonder why they're there. for instance -Hellsing Ost -beat boy beats (from eric b & rakim - i aint no joke to crooklyn clan - get your hands up) -dance and rave tracks (from DDR to Happy Hardcore) -kpop/jpop (from SES to BoA, Ayumi to DAI, Shiina Ringo to Chemistry) -Stand up (from Stephen Lynch to Mitch Hedberg, Dane Cook to George Carlin) that alone takes up more space than anyone would think... some things got me to think - how would it feel to know that no matter how hard you tried, you could only come to be second right, i killed enough time now i suppose. back to work btw im sick... bah ____________________ when we laugh indoors, the blissful tones bouce off the walls and fall to the ground peel the hardwood back to let them loose from decades trapped and listen so still this city is my home, construction noise all day long and gutter punks are bumming change so i breed thicker skin and let my lustrous coat fill in and i'll never admit that i loved you guenivere i loved you i've always fallen fast with too much trust in the promise that "no one's ever been here, so you can quell those wet fears" i want purity, i must have it here right now but don't you get me started now december's chill comes late, the days get darker and we wait for this direness to pass there are piles on the floor of artifacts from dresser drawers, and i'll help you pack i loved you guenivere i loved you death cab for cutie - we laugh indoors |
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| Wednesday, February 23rd, 2005 |
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right... so friday i went to the play, but left early to go home and have some KFC, then it was pretty much a blur, but i tried to go to sleep... i think i ended up realing comics and junk till the wee hours in the morning... saturday i headed home, and i just loafed around the house and messing with my guitar... called up john for some dinner, and watched constatine with alex and jstar... ended spending lots of time playing mario tennis so addicting damn... sunday was just the same, woke up late in the day, messed with guitar all the same, and ended up at johns house for some more mario tennis... i swore i got there round 8, and i left in the morning around 10, and the whole time was strait mario tennis... and boy did my wrist hurt like crazy afterwards... ended up at dimsum, and it was freezing too... damn i think thats when i got sick... got home... slept, woke up at 6pm, and went to have shabu shabu with family before i came back down to SD... then... i slept early... tuesday wasnt great at all... didnt go to any classes, and did absolutely nothing... and slept super duper early... woke up today for doc, decided not to go to 1B... even thought i thought i was giong to go... but didnt.... (ill go friday)... talked myself into go to my 20F... which btw doesnt help... but i need to study any ways... and came home and wasted my time till... now... 8pm... and i havent touched my doc paper since its draft form... MAN tonight is going to be a long night... oh i got my schedual made, but sucks is i need to change my major first... and i guess its the first thing i do tomorrow DOC3 MAE9(hopefully not...) MAE3(hopefully...) CHEM6B(craps...) well thats that and a brown paper bag... boo.. mang im not feeling great either... just some thoughts... you know...bleh __________________ i think ill go home and mull this over before i cram it down my throat at long last its crashed, the colossal mass has broken up into bits in my moat life the mattress off the floor walk the craps off go meander in the cold hail to your dark skin hiding the fact you're dead again undeneath the power lines seeking shade far above our heads are the icy heights that contain all reason its a luscious mix of words and tricks that let us bet when you know we should fold on rocks i dreamt of where we'd stepped and the whole mess of roads we're now on hold your glass up, hold it in never betray the way you've always known it is one day i'll be wondering how i got so old just wondering how i never got cold wearing nothing in the snow this is way beyond my remote concern of being condescending all these squawking birds won't quit building nothing, laying bricks the shins - caring is creepy |
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| Saturday, February 19th, 2005 |
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alright, heres the deal, i cant seem to feel motivated at all right now... after reading some of my books i come to realize how crap these story lines are... man life is so not full of crap drama that could never ever happen in real life... and its made me kind of realize im tired of chasing for what i want, i suppose drive is the best word to describe what it is im lacking... man if you read some ichigo 100, than maybe youd understand taht none of that crap can really happen... I''s is atleast borderline believable... but then everything does take a turn for the worse when it comes to story lines with the new stuff recently... right... man im a dork... i fold... its 4 freaking am... intresting thing, i read christine's awesome entry about her blurb of rain, but didnt work up the mental power to put a witty comment, but you know what, thats totaly awesome, of course i hate that wet feeling from comming back inside, or the close to wet, but very damp feeling is not so great either, but yup, god has blessed us with many things and rain is one of them... and the window thing is beyond me... im crap scared of hieghts... but its 4 am, and shes asleep and i cant tell her whats on my mind... or anyone else seeing how everyone is dead... music is great... made myself a new ring tone... it was pretty fun -_- sad thing is... its slightly a tad bit too long, soooo right if you call, and i dont pick up right away... its because im enjoying the greatness of my new ring tone =)... woo david tao is coo.. __________ do it again, she said to me, so i nailed my hand to the baseboard floor hysterically, laughing at me, she begged the question and i begged for more now i water, the thorn you rammed, deep into my side watch it fertalize cause you shoved your finger, right down my throat, and you make me puke up all of my pride pop the beach balls, burn the photos c-4 your safe, and you;ll never grow old so get out of dodge, and become a thought cause once you're a thought, hopefuly you're forgot if we break up, dont write a song, that would drag my name through the shit, the mud cause ive seen some solid swimmers who drowned, when you unleashed the dam and caused the flood but with free choice, there comes freewill, and im so happy she decided to leave cause now im alone, the deamons come home, and now my pen is rolling up its sleeve pop the beach balls, burn the photos c-4 your safe, and you;ll never grow old so get out of dodge, and become a thought cause once you're a thought, hopefuly you're forgot because my morals have begun to decay, and all my friends have the same thing to say they say that good times have faded away, they say that their all worried about me cause i feed birds in the cemetery, and i rake leaves off the grass in my grave because my memory lain is now paved nothing wrong my memory lain is now paved there's nothing wrong but now my memory's back and there's nothing wrong there's nothing wrong i said there's nothing wrong there's nothing wrong billy talent - beach balls ________________________ WAH WAH WAH!! double dose of lyrics... no WAY!!!!... well yes way =) _________________________ Guy: . will someone please call a surgeon . who can crack my ribs and repair this broken heart . that your're deserting for better company . i cant accept that it's over... . i will block the door like a goalie tending the net . in the third quarter of a tied-game rivalry . so just say how to make it right . and i swear ill do my best to comply . tell me am i right to think that there could be nothing better . than making you my bride and slowly growing old together Gal: . i feel must interject here you're getting carried away feeling sorry for yourself . with these revisions and gaps in history . so let me help you remember. . ive made charts and graphs that should finally make it clear. . ive prepared a lecture on why i have to leave . so please back away and let me go Guy: . i cant my darling i love you so... . tell me am i right to think that there could be nothing better . than making you my bride and slowly growing old together Gal: . dont you feed me lines about some idealistic future . Your heart wont heal right if you keep tearing out the sutures Guy: . i admit that i have made mistakes and i swear . ill never wrong you again Gal: . you've got a lure i cant deny, . but you've had your chance so say goodbye . say goodbye postal service - nothing better |
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| Friday, February 18th, 2005 |
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well its been a while only because couple days ago, i wasted my days on stupid games, to find that i only had 8 hours before i had to turn in a rough of a paper... crap... DOC blows like.... well it just blows, bit i wtayed up all night to do a decent draft... a decent enough draft to not spend another all nighter to write a final... atleast thats what i think... so after turning in the paper i find myself asleep, mang it was horible,i only slept for 4 hours or so... how would that feel... i suppose it was the first time i got so little sleep after an all nighter... ended up gonig to Iv, which btw had an awesome message from John 11, yeah it was pretty inspiring... and god he is good eventually i found myself sucked into this endly cycle of insomnia... right... i didnt go to bed till 6am-ish due to my freakish ablities to not need sleep... which is pretty ironic seeing how im such a sucker for it... well i woke up in time for doc after say setting 6 or 7 alarms on my phone, and realized CRAP!!! i didnt do my case studies, which i should be doing now... which i isnts... so i should get crack a lackin.... so remember god is good... btw im comming home for the weekend to those back home... and im leaving for home to those here in SD... man its been 4 longs weeks since i went back and i dont know if i want to go only cause im so lazy, other than that i definatly want to go home... mang, if there were portals or like wormholes to home... MANG!!! TC would definatly get sick of me... and id sleep at home... and just crash in a pocket of like trans-dimentional space and spend 12 hours sleeping, and not have any time pass at all in reality... that would rock... optimize my laziness to the fullest extent... mang... im a dork... but i cant wat to get my stubby fingers on some of the grub back home and start eating right... and by right i mean, BAD!!! and lot of bad... _________________ nothing but a chemical in my head its nothing but laziness cause i dont wanna read the book ill watch the movie cause its not me im just like everybody else my edge i think id rather play around and i think id rather watch tv cause i dont wanna face my fears ill watch the movie cause its not me im just like everybody else im just like everybody else because i dont wanna be here i dont wanna see this now it's all wrong but its alright and i dont wanna be here and i dont wanna study now it's all wrong but its alright i dont know what love is I dont know who i am and if i ever want to find out ill watch the movie cause its not me im just like everybody else my age i dont wanna change the world and i dont wanna be someone i don't wanna write the book ill make the movie cause its not me im just like everybody else im just like everybody else i dont wanna be here i dont wanna see this now its all wrong but its alright and i dont wanna be here and i dont wanna study now its all wrong but its alright Swtichfoot - chem 6A Mang... UCSD woo... not... |
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| Sunday, February 13th, 2005 |
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today was.... a blur... not a good blur, just a blur, woke up at 2, sat down in front my computer, looked at the clock to find that its already 10... went over to jasons, and gave him my money... funnnn in deed... and get back home at 2am... finding that im bored and have nothing to do... woopie... and then i had that oh so very intresting dream, where i told some people about, and got the crazy eye for... its funny, and quite interesting... -_- best not be telling anyone else either... and besides even if i read this and i get confused like nuts about what this entry is about... its ok, i should remember dreams like these any ways |
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| Friday, February 11th, 2005 |
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ok, so i ws bored after my post like 20 minutes ago and decided to read some of my older ones...CRAP its from high school, CRAP i have no idea who or what im talking about, its all in code, and crap... im wondering if those who read them before are just as confused as i am now... and crap this stuff happend to me, so i should at least have an idea right... no i dont, i have like a very vauge memory of anything that happened... and it makes me see how big of a fool i was, and putting what i know now with what i knew back them, putting 2 and 2 together, i realize how i was such a major fool... and guess what, no more code talk, no more avoiding crap, cause honestly i mentioned a journal... crap i have no idea where that went, and i cant even read it, but this... this i can use... so i guess i might as well spill my heart out on this stuff... i think, this is a good new begining.... so lets make this intresting from the get-go, ok, truth is today wasnt the best day ever... come to think of it last night was awesome though... Angela from upstairs didnt go to IV, so i was like, heck ill go by myself... so i did, and man i sat down, and then i worshiped, and i guess i kind of let it go, cause i did it like i never did it before, man it was nuts, got me all worked up and i was glad i didnt go with anyone, yeah, any ways, some guy, did spoken word which really was cool, and i like a couple of his lines, the bes was on the lines of bringing himself down to us, of flesh and bone, to come take away our sins, yeah, cool... i kinda came in and out of the message tho... i guess got back all tired, cause i suppose worship too more energy out of me than i thought knocked out when i got home, woke up for doc, which from my count is like 10:40-10:40... it feels great to get 12 hours, but then after doc i totally didnt go to my other classes, i dont even remember what i was doing... then came round dark... crap where does the time go... well had dinner with jeff, janet, and heather (janet's friend)... right we had pho, and then i remembered CRAP no red meat, so i decided to eat around it so, when i was finished i was still starving... i suppose meat is definatly my feul supply, well then there was the spring roll, and i saw shrip and was like YES!!, but i fliped it over, and i saw a nice slab of juicy meat... but IDEA! take a bite, and then remove the meat... good idea..... WRONG! bad idea, cause the small bite i had totally had red meat in it... damn... its only been like 2 days or so, and i broke my red meat fast.... oh well... so i fell, and ahhhh i give up, and fell so much further, cause i gave up and finished all the meat in my pho... and it was gooood !!!! ended up at ralphs to shop for janet and her suitemates... right, that was intresting... at ralphs ther was a counter, and like things simular to a bar stool and junk, but at the end, it was lowered, and tehre were lowered seats... for kids... or soemthing... i thought that was awesome... but no one else seemed to take notice... right... im weird... it started raining when we got out of the car, wasnt coool at all, i help with the bags, and ran back to the apt, where i decided that i just wanted to crawl into bed and well.. hybernate... right, i dont know why, but i felt totally down... oh well, chemical imbalances are frequent... and then the whole DJ thing mentioned in the lil blurb below... -_- im kinda of ashamed to have to blog this twice |
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wow, i was skimming and realized how great this was... why did i ever go to xanga... right... the people... well the cool things i definatly like are the emoticons, and the music sections... boo if you think thats all it takes the get my attention... oh well, i did look up liveJourn, but ehh didnt want to do the whole sign up thing, nor did i want to have another site to look after seeing how neglectful i am of this one... today was a good day, watched several movies... did absolutely nothing, and went out to eath with some friends, fun... came back, did this... and now i have a huge urge to crawl into bed and hybernate... i dont know... it feels like ehhh... you know i feel like someone out there likes me =), totally cool you know... having decent luck, and then i start to think, crap, someone else out there doesnt, cause then it turns... yuup, or it could just be me... well horah for the revival of my Dead, and ill probably alternate between this and my xanga... just cause people probably wont read this any further than this.... entry... |
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| Friday, March 28th, 2003 |
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| im writing "something".................... | ||||||||
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| Wednesday, March 19th, 2003 |
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| its been forever... cant remember the last time i wrote here, but i dont know any one who would even remember or visit this site. but then again, i never bothered to much to post it, but it is self satisfaction to know i have something up here on this page... recently things have been going fine, even thought im getting more and more tired by the day... naps are now incorperated into my daily schedual which is weird since i never did before... right now im just siting back and just taking life for a ride... not trying too hard, but nt quite just easing by... just kinda going with the flow... things are going to change once college hits... best to savor what i have now then to regret not takin in what is left of high school... its about 32 days till the AP tests... and im guessing thats another 32 days till school ends thats 64 day... ( school days) so thats only 5 or so weeks left of school... strange thing is... i kinda dont really care much right about now... well gotta write up in another journal thing... or maybe not... dont have much to say on the disk right about now... any ways thats that... | ||||||||
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| Tuesday, February 18th, 2003 |
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| its been forever since i did anyting... i have started that journal thing but ehhh not alot of entries... just like this one... but anyways just thought id update for couple reasons, mainly someone told me about my so non updated page, two, i havent been talkin on aim for like atleast 2 months... or so i guesstimate... and 3... well reason one... but hey... read back on last entry... writing flame... blick... today sorta sucked in english mainly cause it was put out by my english teacher who likes to write... ironic no?... but thats all i got to say... blick | ||||||||
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| Monday, December 9th, 2002 |
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| wow, how long since the last update... this page is molding... i think im totally lacking my writing flame... i really should take my own advice and start doing my journals again... joseph started his on jenny, and he says hes going to publish it... and thats bold... bolder than ne thing i had the guts to do... my writtings are more personal than that, but if someone happened to find and read them, thats totally fine, but to publish... thats big... ne ways, i havent been writting anything at all, ne of my events, feelings, or ne of that wordy flowery stuff... i need to catch up, i also need to start on my bible studies and to cut down on my computer time... joseph totally clicks and makes me think... but its all cool, today i heard this msg from pete purty powererful stuff... but ne ways.. let see... last moth or so i havent been doing much... there was church and work, and edc, and much more... but they alll see to blur up on me right now... thats y i should have been writting... ummm lets see... there was sunday night... but ill write that up in a nother part of my notes... lets see... today there was a meeting but that ended with ronnie getting kocked down... but thats that... ummm... well im seriously going to write up in my notes... late | ||||||||
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| Tuesday, November 12th, 2002 |
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| hey hows it going... been a long time since i updated, i recently got a post from Vik the "yearbook girl" that i still have one of these pieces of craps... everyone else is using xanga or soemthing, which seem purty cool, since ive seen josh's flexy-majig post... it was really hilarious... ne ways not much has happened, i do Ab and i go to hanmi and like, i\m in the edc, and all this crap that happens, oh another painting... sorta makes me think of the good onld days with kaycee n john n jackie n them... too bad that everything went all haywire and now they are the way are now... but hey life goes on, oh yeah also the kenny and harison thing sorta got to me, but i htink its ok now, just needs some time or soemthing, ne ways i just thought i would update really fast, and just type the fastest i can so that right now im just typing at super speed, dont mind my errors cause im just rambling and that oh yeah drawing sucks i bot a fing B in art how the hell do you get a B in art... ne way i miss the art from last year as well, josh nate and tim and ugi and stuff its kinda boring but its still fun with the new weirdo folks like jess and lisa, and lisa and stacy which reminds me that lips with scabs are sexy :D... ne ways ID was fun couple weeks back, but i didnt play i played other weird games, butits all cool, all in it for the fun, ne ways now its sorta all up WC3 man, cant get pass the prtect the liche for 30 mins thing boy i suck... well signing off... ______ such a loserish line! | ||||||
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| Friday, October 4th, 2002 |
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bleh, ok, school was somewhat retarded today... wasnt really into doing anything at all, to tell you the truth, i felt like drawing in every class... but art... how irocin neh? art was duper boring, nothing to do, n i really wasnt in the mood to painting, so i just sat there doing nothing... but i dont know why, i was really out of it, i couldnt remember stuff like, 3 minute back, so i jst tlked to john, that white gurl next to me, and jess, former *cough cough* of sickly freak... but eh, so came around after 6th right, i took chris home and johnathan to alpha... it wasnt really planned that way... but i ended back up in art, and helpin out... it was ehhh, oh after school, i met up with the evagalistic group thing, but i did stop by the anime club... which was really really really really really really, lame, it had mostly nerds, besides like... chungs bro, that one pale guy from my phyisics class last year, and jess ( shes always in art for some reason )... so i just bolted, and left to joes, hes got a really nice pad, and lots of books, hes purty cool, and alex, is helpin me out on the convert thing, but yeah, dan, n folk really crazy, came 4 me ken, eric left for alpha again... ken looked depressed... uhhh.... during alpha... was somewhat really boring... then i left in a rush, dont know where kenny n eric went, i tried calling derricks cell, but he had it off... soooooo i was stuck donig nothing, cause harison is a fag... i chated with christine for a bit, and she ended up leaveing to do artsy stuff b/c i was a boring chat.... so i went driving around... i went to orbit for a while, to check out what was new, but there was this weirdo hogging the folder with the list of new stuff... so after 10-15 mins or so, i left, and drove off... dont know where... lol but i ended up near johnathans... so i though... hey ill go to his house... so i called him up, but he wasnt home yet... so by the time he would be... i was on my way back... but i saw La Rosa... n i just hand a urge, so i pulled over, jumped the fence, and i sat on the swings for about 30 minutes of sooo... the school sure has changed alot... n it sure did bring back alot of memories... :D, more pleasant ones, then what i think up when im in art with the chamber twins, well, then i heard a door slam, and i really got uncomfortable, cause it was really dark, and like, there werent alot of street lights, and i couldnt see very far... after a while, i just hopped back into my car and left... went to get gas, and came home... and now... im bored all over again... sigh... ne ways, tomorrow will be my last saturday at alpha, b/c sat is next saturday... scary thought, but i hope i do ok... atleast > than a 1.3k, n after that im going to meet up with folk at the evalanglas group... u know i seriously dont know how to speel it... n also, i guess i should kick back a while on the G stuff... but eh, i guess id be ok... oh yeah, i realized that my time is now going to become suppper demanding and im going to have to stick to a really tight schedual... yup, i really need to start doing the streching stuff for shaio n break, n i need to do leart 2, n i got hw, and thers also college, and i got a test this comming tuesday... sigh... ne ways that wraps it up for now... doubt ne thing more interesting will happen further tonight that is... oh yeah i took out the trash.... er... yeah... _____________________ Yesterday I went outside With my momma's mason jar Caught a lovely Butterfly When I woke up today Looked in on my fairy pet She had withered all away No more sighing in her breast I'm sorry for what I did I did what my body told me to I didn't mean to do you harm Everytime I pin down what I think I want It slips away - the ghost slips away I smell you on my hand for days I can't wash away your scent If I'm a dog then you're a bitch I guess you're as real as me Maybe I can live with that Maybe I need fantasies A life of chasing butterfly I'm sorry for what I did I did what my body told me to I didn't mean to do you harm Everytime I pin down what I think I want It slips away - the ghost slips away I told you I would return When the robin makes his nest But I ain't never coming back I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry Weezer - Butterfly |
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| Wednesday, September 25th, 2002 |
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its a little to earlie to by writing but i dont know what to do, so i guess ill do this, i recently just opened up my mp3 list, and loaded all my songs on my comptuers... and im hearing songs i havent heard for the longest time... bring back some memories, of course, they are only memories... hmmm i havent felt this way for the longest time, cant quiet discribe it but i guess its no big deal, lol but now that i think about it... i think im just a huge fool, always saying weird things, and doing weird stuff... i guess i need to stop the obnoxious behavior... :T __________ Ooh, ooh Do you ever think about me? Do you ever cry yourself to sleep? In the middle of the night when you're awake, Are you calling out for me? Do you ever reminisce? I can't believe in nothing like this I know it's crazy How I still can feel your kiss [1] - It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours Since you went away I miss you so much and I don't know what to say I should be over you I should know better but it's just not the case It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours Since you went away Do you ever ask about me? Do your friends still tell you what to do? Every time the phone rings, Do you wish it was me calling you? Do you still feel the same? Or has time put out the flame? I miss you Is everything okay? [Repeat 1] It's hard enough just passing the time When I can't seem to get you off my mind And where is the good in goodbye? Tell me why, tell me why [Repeat 1] Sing it for me Ooh, ooh brian mcknight - 6, 8, 12 |
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| Tuesday, September 24th, 2002 |
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im still concidering what i should do about this whole situation with the, should i, or shouldnt i, approch to the situation, lillian is really helping alot, thats what i think... dont know what id do with her... OH MY!!!!! DAI roxors!!! they are the best... seriously... its like... a azn weezer... the lead vocal is really enticing, and the lead base iis really something... i especailly like ther more slower alternatives... but their high pitch, up beat meolodies are also something to look forward to, so far, i think they only have one album, butm im greatly looking forward to their future debues, OMG DAI ROXORS!!!!! do as infinity owns joo... but yeah ne ways, i think things are finally getting back on track, but i guess im still a little depressed, but when i talk to her, im all smiles and laughs... thats a good thing .... i think... but yeah... either that, or im still diggin that dirt right from under my feet ... ____________________ It's over and done but the heartache lives on inside And who's the one you're clinging to instead of me tonight? And where are you now, now that I need you? Tears on my pillow wherever you go I'll cry me a river that leads to your ocean You never see me fall apart In the words of a broken heart it's just emotion taking me over Caught up in sorrow lost in the song but if you don't come back Come home to me, darling don't you know there's nobody left in this world tohold me tight nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight Goodnight, goodnight I'm there at your side, I'm part of all the things you are But you've got a part of someone else You've got to find your shining star And where are you now, now that I need you? Tears on my pillow wherever you go I'll cry me a river that leads to your ocean You never see me fall apart In the words of a broken heart it's just emotion taking me over Caught up in sorrow lost in the song but if you don't come back Come home to me, darling don't you know there's nobody left in this world tohold me tight nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight Goodnight, goodnight And where are you now, now that I need you? Tears on my pillow wherever you go I'll cry me a river that leads to your ocean You never see me fall apart In the words of a broken heart it's just emotion taking me over Caught up in sorrow lost in the song but if you don't come back Come home to me, darling don't you know there's nobody left in this world tohold me tight nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight Goodnight, goodnight destiny's child - emotions |
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diRk's Journal
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chipper.
weird.
cranky.
gloomy.
naughty.
geeky.
blank.
tired.
anxious.
awake.
crushed.